In the heart of Provo, Utah, Kalani Sitake, head coach of the BYU Cougars, has been making waves—not just for his team’s performance on the field, but for his unusual approach to leadership and team culture.
As the first Tongan college football head coach, Sitake brings a fresh perspective to the game. He’s all about joy, personal connection, and tapping into the real motivations of his players.
This article takes a closer look at how Kalani Sitake leads, what he does differently, and the impact he’s had on BYU football.
Kalani Sitake: A Leader Rooted in Joy and Connection
Kalani Sitake’s leadership is grounded in joy and genuine personal bonds. He’s not just a coach—he’s a mentor, sometimes a friend, and, honestly, a bit like a father figure to a lot of these players.
His philosophy, “love and learn,” is at the core of everything. It’s helped BYU build a team environment that feels positive and tight-knit.
Building Personal Connections
One thing that stands out? Sitake’s knack for connecting with people, truly. He’ll ask about your family, remember details, and share bits from his own life.
It’s not just the players who feel this—fans and staff say the same. In interviews, he’ll sometimes flip the script and ask about the interviewer’s day. It’s a little thing, but it builds trust and camaraderie.
Emphasizing Joy in Leadership
Joy isn’t just a buzzword for Sitake—it’s the heartbeat of his leadership. He wants his players to actually enjoy what they’re doing.
Take Thursdays, for example. The team does karaoke—players and coaches, everyone singing together. It’s goofy, sure, but it’s also a way to break down walls and build team spirit.
He likes to share stories from his own life, too, especially about finding joy when things aren’t perfect. There’s this memory he tells about a Christmas in Provo, driving around with his family, singing along to The Temptations’ Christmas Card album, even though they didn’t have much. It’s a simple reminder: joy’s not about stuff, it’s about moments.
Structured Yet Flexible: Sitake’s Approach to Team Meetings
Sitake’s team meetings are a mix of structure and looseness. He wants players engaged, not just sitting there zoning out.
He’s pulled ideas from Daniel Pink’s book, Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us, and tries to create a space where players feel like they matter, like they’ve got a purpose, and like they’re in charge of their own improvement.
The AMP Framework
- Autonomy: Sitake thinks players should have a say in their own development. He pushes them to own their roles and decisions.
- Mastery: He’s big on always getting better, not just settling for good enough.
- Purpose: Players need to know their work matters—for the team and for something bigger than just football.
Engaging Team Meetings
To keep everyone awake and interested, Sitake changes up the topic or activity every 20 minutes or so. It’s a nod to Gen Z’s attention span, and honestly, who doesn’t appreciate a change of pace?
Players and assistant coaches get to take the reins sometimes, which gives them a sense of ownership. That’s pretty rare in college football.
He also talks about the power of small gestures. Sitake tells his team that even a simple smile can change someone’s day. It’s a little cheesy, maybe, but it sticks with you.
The Impact of Sitake’s Leadership on BYU Football
Since stepping in as head coach in 2015, Sitake’s led BYU to some pretty solid seasons. Only two losing years out of nine, and the team made the jump from FBS independence to a Power 4 conference.
Last season? 11-2. Now, they’re sitting at 6-0 and ranked No. 15. Not bad at all.
Creating a Positive Team Culture
Sitake’s approach has shaped BYU’s team culture into something positive and close-knit. Players talk about the sense of camaraderie and respect, and even after they leave, they credit Sitake with helping them grow as people.
Team leaders actually get to weigh in on decisions—like changing up the weekly schedule or tweaking practice. It’s not just lip service; players feel like their voices count.
Influence of LaVell Edwards
Sitake’s style takes a lot from his mentor, legendary BYU coach LaVell Edwards. He played and captained under Edwards, picking up on his focus on open communication and building community.
But Sitake’s made it his own, adapting those old-school principles to fit a new generation. It’s a mix of tradition and fresh thinking that seems to work for today’s players.
Conclusion: The Legacy of Kalani Sitake
Kalani Sitake’s time at BYU? It’s really something. He’s shown that leadership can be about joy and genuine connection, not just cold strategy.
His style isn’t just about winning games, though that’s a nice bonus. The team’s atmosphere feels different—more positive, more supportive, almost like a family.
He’s always talking about personal growth, kindness, and the value of community. I’d say that’s a legacy that goes way past football.
Want more details on Sitake’s leadership and BYU’s journey? Check out the original article on The New York Times.

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